Help me be strong
by Carol Nawali
Summary: Somethings wrong with Relena! Heeros worried about his charge, and Relena's health is decreasing at alarming rates. With a quick escape to the doctors they find Relena has blood cancer...and she needs that extra boost, because she cant be strong anymore.


Yipes! Okay this is bad...alright ;; I wrote this on the 14-15th and had planned to post it RIGHT away, and i DID! Just...on my other site XD. Now you see...in the first place I wasnt even planning on posting it here, for I used to write shorts just for my friends, my sisters, and well...I guess my older brother, Cecil...but one girl has this firm belief that I dont write my OWN stories because its odd that I dont place certain stories on here.

And you know what? Shes an agorgent bitch Whom, after I told her a one shot I did for my sisters decided she wanted to do the EXACT same thing and post it on here. So yeah. Nice right? Well anyways, now as a result I shant be writing certain stories for you guys and certain stories for my family, it will now go to both.

So Girls, that DOES mean no sneak peaks of Bullet proof to, if you must blame anyone, you know who.

ANYWAYS! So that means if you are a fan of me...your in for a few treats that you wouldnt have gotten otherwise! If not? Well then you to can blame her XD

Another quick thing I'd like to state before posting this...That girl; is well having a problem with her story...and as much as she wants to beleive im a fucked up mental like her who cant write my own stories, I dont want her to be discourged from the path she has choosen for a career, and she is already getting dismayed for she has 2 chapters andonly 3 reviews and no favorites...So if any of you have a good heart could you please go check it out? Come on! It will be for CAROL! XD

**_Not there_ By Rikku Amakura**

ON WITH THE STORY!

**Reminder-** This is for my English Teacher Mr. Agena. May he and his mother pull through these tough times together.

* * *

A young blonde woman sat behind a tall desk. Her forehead was placed on top of the desk, her pale fingers rubbing her temples. Her golden tresses pooled around the desk, leaving only the tips to fall off the edge, her ocean orbs were closed in pain. Her headache wouldn't go away! And it wasn't just her headache that was bothering her either…she was having this weird pain again. 

The intercom that was being suffocated by the large amount of paperwork on her desk clicked on as the woman's secretary's voice rang out "Ms. Dorlian…Agent Yuy is here"

The female lifted her head to glare at the menacing machine before a single knock sounded on her wooden door, before it opened. There stood a young male that looked to be around the age of the woman. His eyes were cold and sharp…emotionless pools of deep blue. His hair was dark brown and unruly…falling over his eyes in a haphazard kind of way.

The woman groaned and slid down her chair to hide under her desk from her bodyguard "Go away!" She whined in much the same manner as a 5 year old. "I'm FINE! I've told you that 20 times today!"

The male growled and gave the desk the woman was hiding behind a death like glare. "Relena…" He spoke in a warning tone.

From behind the desk a voice replied "Don't 'Relena' me! I'm a grown woman! I can take care of myself! Mr. I can't take a CHILL PILL"

The blonde - Relena- Smiled at herself cheerfully, momentarily forgetting her headache. She had just told Heero Yuy, the stick in the mud, off! That was something that didn't happen very often. Unfortunately for her…in her short moment of euphoria she failed to notice that her protective bodyguard had appeared in front of the desk.

"Relena! This is not acceptable behavior for a Vice Foreign minister! Now come out so I can escort you down to the halls to meet with Colonel Schums!" He reached under the desk and grabbed her by the wrist. The moment his hand came in contact with her wrist though, she yelped in pain and struggled to get away from him.

Heero watched as she struggled under his grasp in a confused matter. What was the matter? He was hardly touching her. "Let go of me Heero! You're hurting me!" Heero instantly let go of his charges wrist.

"Relena…I'm sorry" He spoke looking at her still slightly shocked at what happened.

She shook her head and crawled out from underneath the desk. "No Heero. I over-reacted" She stated calmly. Now…on every other person that old politic trick would have worked. But Heero wasn't every other person. He was a man who was a good friend of hers…a man who had devoted the past 5 years of his life to the woman before her. He was a man who watched her turn from the 15 year old idealist to the 21 year old she was now. He was NOT fooled by her calm façade.

"Relena…what's the matter?" He asked his tone emotionless. He berated himself mentally, for not being able to sound like he cared.

"It's…nothing Heero. Seriously" She smiled a tight smile that didn't reach her eyes as her other hand went up to cradle her wrist.

Heero frowned and looked at the back of her head, wishing she'd turn around and tell him just what was bothering her. She had become so…distant in the past 3 months; it was beginning to bother him. He missed the old Relena. He missed…the 15 year old. His eyes opened slightly as he pondered that thought for a moment. Did he really?

Relena used to always chase after him…and even when he threatened to kill her she took it as a sign of affection…or so it seemed. Did he really miss having her follow him around like a stalker? He looked at the woman before him, who wouldn't let him in anymore. Yes. He released…he DID miss her.

_Please Relena_ he silently begged _please just turn around and tells me what's wrong!_

Relena met his wish half way, as she turned around to face him. Her back straight, her shoulders back, a tight smile. That's when he realized…she was in her politic mode. She _wasn't_going to let him in. "Mr. Yuy, I do believe we need to get going before we are late for the honorable Colonel."

Heero glared at her for but a moment before giving her a curt nod and walking up to the door. He glanced back at her one more time, his eye watching the cradled wrist, before turning the door knob and leading the way out.

They walked down a long corridor silently, each to enwrapped…engrossed with their own thoughts to talk to the other. Relena looked at her wrist over and over, giving Heero a horrible feeling in his stomach. What was worse was every time he tried to look at her wrist she'd pull it away from him, as if she didn't trust him.

15 minutes later saw that they had entered the elevator, went up to the 5th floor, existed and were now in Schums office. Heero HATED this man. More then any other diligent Relena had to meet. He was a handsome young man, with neatly cut blonde hair, he had dark brown eyes, his build was decent, and he seemed to be kind enough. And this? This made Heero despised the man. _Maybe he wouldn't be so bad…_ Heero thought _If he didn-_

Heero's brain stopped all thought process as he watched the blonde walk up and hug Relena…only to pull away to give her a quick peak on the cheek.

_IF HE DIDN'T DO THAT!_ His mind screamed aloud. His hands clenched into fists at his side restlessly, as he tried to go over every rule in the book in his head, looking for loopholes, that stated he couldn't punch a diplomat just for kissing his charge.

Relena smiled a polite smile as the man took her hand in his and kissed her fingers, before quickly tugging her hand away, not enjoying the extra attention that this suitor gave her. All he was going to do was court her till she gave him what he wanted, or help him out of whatever tight bind he was in.

She cleared her thought delicately before speaking "Forgive me Colonel, but what was our meeting over again? I can't…recall"

"Ahh yes" He motioned with his arm for the Minister of Foreign affairs to take a seat. "My colony, as you know, has come into short supply of titanium, and the Earth sphere untied alliance refuses to hand any over to us."

Relena tried with great effort to keep her mind clear enough to listen, but she found her eye lids were getting heavier and heavier. Why was she so TIRED lately? She had even been going to bed earlier these past few weeks, and yet she was always more and more tired.

"And without that shipment, our colony is in danger of having to cut down some of our natural functions, so you see Vice Minister Dorlian, why we need your help?"

Relena closed her eyes shut tight trying to stop the spinning, before trying to nod her head "Yes. I…underst-" Her statement was cut off when she felt her body become heavy and fall to the ground. She couldn't open her eyes and blackness surrounded her…telling her to come its way. And hard as she tried she couldn't stop from being sucked in. The last thing she could hear was her ever faithful bodyguards scream her name and run to her side.

Relena opened her eyes only to find a bright light sting them cruelly, causing her to shut her eyes tight again, she let out a small groan.

Heero looked up from his laptop that he had been typing away on and closed it, setting it on a nearby stand. "Relena?" He asked looking over the girl's body. The female reconsidered the voice as the man she had loved for the past 5 years. "Heero?" She called out timidly.

His usual 'hn' was heard and she had to force herself to open her eyes once more. "Heero?" She asked "Where are we?"

Heero sighed "Your house. Your room. You fell in the meeting. Sally po said it was from stress."

Relena sighed and nodded slowly. Was it really stress educed? She remembered asking her brother, Millardo, to cut back on her work when her headaches started…and she hadn't had to do TOO much since then. Just paper work…meetings and b-

BALLS! That's right! She had a ball she had to go to for Quatre's colony!

She quickly looked over to Heero and gave him a pleading look. "Heero! I have to go to the ball!"

Heero glared at the woman before him "No chance. You just passed out…remember?"

Relena pouted "But Heero! It's my JOB!"

Heero's glare intensified "Yes, well it's MY job to make sure you are OKAY"

Relena sat up right in her bed and ignored his comment "I need to get my dress ready. Excuse me Heero"

Heero glared at her. "No. You're going to the hospital"

Relena turned to him and scoffed "And who are you to tell me what to do and what not to do!"

The male stood up his height a good head taller then her. "You are in MY care. And I shall do what I see fit. Relena, you may be able to get away with your brother by just saying 'your tired' but I'm not going to buy it! You're going to the hospital. NOW."

Relena looked at Heero pleadingly. This wasn't any NORMAL ball this was Quatres! She needed to be there! For her _friend_. She sighed. She really did hate doctors.

"Heero. Let me go to this ball, and I WONT complain when you take me to the hospital." She tried to bargain.

Heero looked at her skeptically. "Right after the ball?"

She nodded "Yes. Immediately after"

The corner of the stoic teen's lips turned up in a half smile "Fine. The balls in an hour though. Better hurry" And with that he turned on his heel and walked out of her room, shutting the door behind him. Pausing at the door once it was closed to take joy in hearing her scream about how an hour wasn't enough time.

Heero, Duo, and Trowa were all at the bottom of Quatre's mansion waiting for her to make her entrance. Though Heero was her normal 24 guard, Duo and Trowa came when she went to formal parties as well. And in certain rare occasions the preventors would even hire Wufie to watch over her.

She sighed at this knowledge. She hated it when Heero came to her balls. She was love struck with the boy, and he had no idea what the word 'love' even meant! She was just a mission to him.

Tonight she would be dancing with all the old politics down there in the ballroom, and as dull as that sounded…she knew it was better then having a dance with Heero. That would come out only hurtful she had come to learn. In all the years he had protected her, he had never once showed any sign of affection.

She wasn't even sure…if she could call him a 'just a friend'.

Relena walked over to her full length mirror and looked over her appearance. Her sky blue dress trailed on the floor lightly, coming up in slits on either side to show off her heels. Her hair was pulled up in a tight bun, and her make up was applied lightly. She practiced her smile once more in the mirror before sighing.

She placed a hand on her stomach. She had become so thin…but she was eating. More then usual. This was becoming a more and more confusing matter. Perhaps Heero was right…perhaps…she DID need to go to the doctors. As much as she trusted and valued Dr. Sally Po's opion on her health…she didn't think it was stress educed.

With one more glance in her mirror she turned on her heel and walked out of her changing room. When she reached the edge of the staircase she paused. The conversations and music that was playing in the ballroom all hushed as she came into view.

All eyes were on her as she slowly descended down the stairs. She had no escort, so her hand trailed along the rail of the staircase till she reached the bottom. Once her feet landed on the ground all the dancers were on she cleared her throat, and in a loud voice spoke "Ladies and Gentleman, I'd like to thank you all for coming! Tonight, is a wonderful night for my dear friend, Quatre Rebar bra Winner! So if you all could, please give him a round of applause!"

Everyone on the dance floor turned to surround the blonde boy in the middle of the hall and applauded causing him to blush profoundly.

"Th-thank you everyone!" He managed to stutter out before giving Relena a small playful, yet warning glare.

The ball wasn't as bad as she had thought it would be. She had danced with nearly every male in the room except for Heero. Even the silent Trowa had asked for a dance! Unfortunately for her Colonel Schums had kept coming back for more and more dances.

Little did the poor man know that he was getting closer and closer on Heero's 'must kill' list as priority.

And as promised, after the ball she let Heero drag her to the hospital. And after three hours of scans and being probed with needles, and stabbed with other objects they finally let her go home with a promise of information the next morning at 10.

And that's just where her, Heero, and Duo had found themselves at 10 sharp.

The doctor had called her in by herself and told her to take a seat on the makeshift bed. He cleared his throat, flipping throat papers on his clipboard before turning to Relena, with a somber look on his face.

"Ms. Dorlian, I fear this is…more serious then we had previously thought."

Relena's breath hitched in her throat. "Y-Y-You mean it really ISNT stress educed?" She asked a sorrowful look on her face. Though she had known it wasn't, she still had hoped that was all the case was.

The doctor shook his head. "I'm afraid not. To be blunt Ms. Dorlian…you have Leukemia. What that is," the doctor stated informing the Vice minister in case she didn't know "Is a blood cancer. It is when your immature blood cells reproduce quickly in the bone marrow, where they eventually crowd out healthy cells. When present in high numbers, these immature, abnormal cells sometimes can spread to other organs, causing damage, especially in a type of leukemia called acute myeloid leukemia."

Relena gulped. Cancer. She had cancer. Her hands wrung her skirt nervously as she watched the doctor, her eyes stinging, threatening to pour over tears. She cleared her throat so not to allow it to creak and asked "How soon should we react?"

The doctor again looked at his clipboard and shook his head slowly. "Unfortunately Ms. Dorlian, I can't say 'you came just in time' I fear this is already getting serious. I'd like for you to go into chemotherapy ASAP."

"And how soon is as soon as possible? When is the earliest you can take me in?"

"In two days. We suggest you pack up a few belongings and prepare" Relena quickly brought a hand under her eye to wipe away the unshed tears before hopping off the table and nodding "I see. I shall make my depart to get ready then."

The doctor nodded slightly and moved to open the door for her. She thanked him quietly before walking out to see the faces of Heero and Duo. Her stoic guard and her happy do lucky braided guard.

"Well princess?" Duo asked eagerly and Heero nodded in agreement.

"I…want to go home" Both males looked at her and frowned, then looked back to each other before Heero replied.

"I'll take you"

She shook her head and looked at Duo. "Duo, could you please take me?"

"Uh…sure princess. Is everything okay?"

She nodded her head and offered a meek smile "Of course. I'm just…tired"

"Right then" Duo smiled and slung an arm over her shoulder. "Then I shall just take you home!"

She smiled gratefully and whispered "Thank you Duo."

"No prob!"

Heero watched as the two walked out of the hospital and didn't move. His stomach was doing back flips, and his chest hurt. His mind was running around in circles. Why didn't she want HIM to take her home! Why did she ask DUO! Why didn't she want to tell him what the matter was! Didn't she trust him? What happened to the love he used to see in her eyes?

Heero turned around and slammed his fist into the hospital letting out a foul string of words before turning and walking towards the exist himself to follow Duo and Relena back to her mansion.

Duo opened the door for Relena and let her slid in. Once she was in he closed the door and got in on his own side, closed the door and started up the car, pulling out onto the road.

Once they were on the highway Duo looked at Relena. "So what's REALLY up princess?"

Relena let out a sob and placed her forehead on Duo's shoulder. "Duo…I…"

Duo panicked, why would Relena be CRYING! He had never seen her cry! Not ONCE in the 5 years he had known her! "Duo, I Have cancer."

Duo quickly pulled his eyes off the road to look at Relena "What!"

She gulped, and let the tears flow freely down her face. "I have Leukemia"

Duo had to fight himself not to cry. Why! Why, after everything she had done did god punish her with THIS! What had RELENA ever done! She had never taken someone's life; she SAVED them with her powers! She ended a WAR with the help of her fellow followers! WHY!

She sobbed "The timings unfair…"

Duo chanced a side glance at her before looking back to the road.

"I mean…now that the wisdom has come…everything fades."

Duo nodded, and turned at the intersection, trying his hardest not to cry still. His eyes stung and his vision became blurry. This was why she didn't want to ride with Heero. How was HE going to take it?

The woman next to him laughed a bitter laugh through her tears "I guess…I've seen my happy days huh?"

Duo shook his head "No princess! There will be plenty more! I promise"

She sighed "Duo…" She then just broke down and sobbed, her mind no longer being able to process intelligent thoughts. The male beside her just let her sob.

When they pulled up to the Mansion in which Relena lived, they saw Heero was already there and waiting for them. Duo had come around to Relena's side and helped her out. Her cheeks were still tear stained and his heart lurched.

"I'm going to my room. Thank you for the ride Duo" she spoke quietly before slipping past Heero and running up the stairs into her house.

Heero, however, had caught site of her tear stained cheeks and turned to Duo. "MAXWELL!" He growled and stormed over to his 'teammate' "What the hell did you DO to her!"

Duo growled at the teen before him. "_I_ didn't do ANYTHING! Maybe YOU should go talk to her! I don't think she wants to be alone right now! I really think she could use someone to be there for her. And NOT as her bodyguard…as a friend"

Duo glared at his 'best friend' before turning around and getting back into his car and driving away.

Heero looked dumbfounded for a moment before running up the stairs, making a quick path to Relena's room. When he got there he gave a sharp knock on her door. And a meek "come in" came as a reply and he entered.

"Relena…"

Relena looked up from her pillows to see Heero. She fought once more to stop the tears from coming down, as he came closer to her. "Relena…what happened back there?"

Relena shook her head. "Nothing Heero."

Heero felt that twinge again. Why was she shutting him out! "Relena…"

Relena looked at him and sighed "Heero? Do you…remember…when you told me I was one of the strongest people you know?"

Heero nodded his head. He still believed it to be true. The woman before her had become the VFM at the age of 16. That was BIG.

She sighed and sat up right fidgeting slightly. "Well…" she sighed and shook her head.

"Heero…I've…Got Cancer."

Heero's eyes widened. This had to be some joke! Some sick demented joke! It HAD to be!

And that's when Relena's barrier broke once more as she sobbed. "Heero…I'm scared"

He blinked at her, not sure how to respond. What do you say in this situation? Instead he opted for pulling her into his lap and hugging her tightly. With his right hand he stroked her hair softly.

Softly she murmured words that he wasn't sure if they were meant for him or not. "Only the strong shall survive…but I'm feeling quite weak."

Heero closed his eyes tightly and rocked them back and forth, cursing the heavens above for this cruel twist in fate. "Don't say that Relena…" he spoke softly in her ear.

"Will…" she started her voice cracking again, this time not from tears, but from uncertainty."Will you comfort me? And forgive me?" she asked softly and Heero pulled back to look at her. Forgive her? For what?

As if she heard his unspoken question she replied "For being weak"

Heero pulled her back into his chest and held her tight to him, holding onto her as if keeping her with him would keep her fine.

"No" He spoke softly 'There's nothing to forgive Relena"

She nodded her head and sniffled. Her tears draining her energy and soon found herself drifting off in Heero's arms.

Her three days were up and she found herself walking in the entrance of the hospital, Duo and Heero ever the faithful, at her sides.

When she got up to the stand she gave her name and a nurse brought her and her bodyguards around the hospital to where a room where she would wait until the doctor came for her.

The nurse opened the door and lead Relena in, telling her to sit down on a table to wait for the doctor. The VFM nodded and took her seat and the nurse closed the door behind her, shutting her out form both Heero and Duo.

Outside Duo and Heero paced. Already they were nervous, and nothing even happened yet! When Duo stopped, though, he turned to Heero and spoke "You should be in there with her."

Heero gave him a questioning look and Duo shook his head. "Still as clueless as ever eh? Heero my man, she loves you. She needs you to be in there with her. She needs someone to help her"

Heero furrowed his brow. "She doesn't love me Duo."

"Oh? That's not what she tells me"

Heero growled "She doesn't talk about her social life with ANYONE Maxwell"

Duo sighed "She doesn't speak of love, because of the love she never knew"

Heero gave him one more look before the male shrugged and said he was going to go get a soda. The teen stood out in the hall a moment longer before quickly walking into Relena's room.

Relena's head jerked up to look at Heero as he entered. Immediately she ran into him, wrapping her arms around his waist "Heero! I'm scared!"

Heero nodded his head and wrapped his arms around her "It will be okay Relena."

She sighed and spoke "I don't have any strength to be strong anymore Heero…Help me be strong…"

Heero nodded his head and pushed her away at arms length before bringing his lips down to touch her forehead. "Always"

She nodded and pulled herself in closer to him.

At that moment the doctor walked in and spoke "Relena, please follow me"

Relena whimpered slightly and looked at Heero. He gave her a reassuring smile and she nodded her head, following the doctor out. Just before closing the door into the room that would become her home for a month. She looked back at Heero and knew then, that he would come to visit her when he could. And she knew…with his strength…she could overcome this.

That was what she truly wanted to believe. With his strength, she would be strong, and she would survive. She would live another day, a day that would allow her to become closer to Heero Yuy.

She lived for that day. And she would beat this cancer for that day. And now that she had something to live for; she knew that she could overcome anything.

For he helped her be strong.

* * *

Hey everyone!Carol again. I'd like to say first and for most that this story is for my English Teacher, Mr. Agena. He recently found out that his mother had Leukemia, and I felt HORRIBLE! I didn't know what I could do to help him! I had nothing to give…nothing but my stories. 

And then I was worried about how he would react to the story, if it would make him feel better, or worse. I wasn't sure, and I was panicking and my parents told me to calm down and yeah o.O Of course. Right? Tell HEATHER to calm down! Yep, that will work!

So, basically I was a mess all day at school on Thursday. I wanted to help, but I wasn't sure if my way of helping would make it worse! So yeah…I finally decided to give it to him, and pray for the best.

For those of you who don't know Leukemia, is really a cancer that is sadly, very common, and the symptoms include:

Fever

Fatigue

Aches in bones or joints

Headaches

Skin rashes

Swollen glands (lymph nodes)

Frequent infections

Unexplained weight loss

Bleeding or swelling of gums

An enlarged spleen or liver, or a feeling of abdominal fullness

Slow-healing cuts, nosebleeds or frequent bruises

If you think you have Leukemia PLEASE go to the doctors, and have a physical done.

And people I'd like to ask you all to say a small prayer tonight for him and his mother. Every little bit, every thought counts. Right? Another note, in one week I will print out Reviews, so if any of you guys have any comments for feedback or advice you think will help him, feel free to post.

Remember; we all need that extra hand to help us up when we are down. So lets help where we can right?

Check out my other stories: User name Carol Nawali

Much love, Remember to pray! Heather. 9/15/05


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